Protect what is yours
by ernasdottir
Summary: Ruby's at the hospital and it's finally time for a long overdue conversation between Belle and Snow.
1. Chapter 1

Belle looked up from the book she was reading and rubbed her eyes.

Her eyes were tired form the countless hours she had forced them to stay open. Except for few a short naps, when exhaustion had overcome her, she hadn't allowed herself any real rest for the past two days. It weren't just her eyes that burned and hurt from the misuse. Her whole body was begging her for sleep, her muscles protesting with every move she made. She moved her head form one side to the other and back again, trying to ease at least a few of the knots in her shoulders and neck from staying too long in one position.

She barely had left the room, most of the time spent in the same chair. Always close to the bed.

Close to Ruby.

She looked at the now familiar monitor, checking the readings. She only understood the basics, but enough to know that Ruby was progressing and healing and that was everything she needed to know.

She never had experienced her that still. At the times they had had a sleep-over or Ruby fell asleep while they had watched television, she never stayed still. There was always a foot twitching or a hand moving and she found it adoring. To see her unmoving had been unsettling, but Dr. Whale had assured her, that she would be fine. That it was just her body taking its time to heal.

Her gaze went out into the dark night. There were millions of stars sparkling in the sky, but Belle wasn't interested in them, she was searching for the moon.

It wasn't more than a small crescent, new moon had only been two days ago.

"Twelve more days."

Belle turned around surprised to find Snow standing next to her. She hadn't heard her enter, her mind too focused on the moon.

Snow had freshened up since she last saw her. The only reminder of the combat was the colorful bruise on her jaw and the tiredness of her eyes. The bloodied and torn clothes were gone, replaced with a shirt and jeans that both were slightly too big and colorful for the woman who preferred much more muted colors.

Belle recognized them immediately and the realization burned in her chest. Not a week ago Ruby had worn the exact same shirt.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Rationally she understood why Snow was wearing Ruby's clothes. She hadn't bothered to go home to change, but had borrowed something from Ruby when they had escorted Granny from the hospital to the Inn.

But it was Ruby's black leather jacket that just didn't fit Snow that proved to her how wrong all of this was.

She shivered slightly.

"Are you cold?" Ruby asked her.

The night was cold, autumn coming faster to town than Belle had thought. The day had been warm and she had forgotten her cardigan when she had made her way to the diner, her head already filled with new exciting things she had learned in her books and she had been eager to share with Ruby.

"A little bit." She rubbed her hands over her bare arms.

"Here." Ruby shrugged out of her leather jacket and placed it around Belle's shoulders.

It was warm and smelled of Ruby and without thinking Belle inhaled the scent deeply and exhaled with a sigh. Involuntarily she closed her eyes.

"Better?"

"Much better." Belle looked up at Ruby. "But what about you?"

Ruby shrugged. "I don't get cold."

Belle watched her closely. Her black t-shirt was thin, the tiger printed on it swaying slightly in the wind. The same wind pushed Ruby's hair out of her face and the light from the street lamps illuminated her features. She looked like one of the heroines in her books, strong, independent and beautiful.

Sometimes, especially at moments like this when she was happy, there was this irrational fear that Storybrooke, her friends and Ruby weren't real, but fragments of her imagination.

And for a moment she feared that she was still locked away in a cell.

Slowly Belle reached out a finger to touch Ruby's biceps.

Ruby jumped slightly in surprise and yelped.

Belle giggled in relief.

Rub shook her head, a grin on her lips. "Your fingers are ice cold."

She grabbed the offending body part and clasped it with her hand, squeezing it softly.

Hand in hand they walked the rest of the way to the library and even though the thin leather jacket didn't much to protect her from the cold wind, warmth spread through Belle.

"Here." Snow held the brown paper bag she had brought with her up. "Granny packed some dinner for you. She thought you might be hungry."

Belle reached for the bag and she had to stop herself from stretching her fingers far enough to touch the sleeve of the leather jacket.

Instead she took the bag and opened it, a small smile playing around her lips as she saw her favorite meal and an iced tea. She grabbed the cup and placed the bag with the food untouched on the bedside table next to her.

"I had to promise her you would eat your lunch." Snow pointed at the bag.

Belle shook her head and took a sip from the iced tea. "I'm not hungry. I'll eat later." She hadn't been hungry since everything started. Her last real meal had been at the dinner, while she waited for Ruby's shift to end, so they could start their girls' night.

"How is Granny?"

"She insisted on making everyone dinner before we could finally persuade her to lie down. It didn't take her long to fall asleep." Snow smirked, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "David is staying with her."

Belle nodded. "That's good. She hasn't left the hospital since you brought Ruby in."

Snow stepped closer to the bed. Her hand reached out, but she hesitated for a moment, like she was afraid to hurt her friend even more, before she finally brushed an imaginary hair from Ruby's forehead.

"She feels so cold." Snow shook her head. "She never felt cold." She remembered the heat from Red's body, close to hers on the small cot they shared in their cabin. More than once it had been the only thing keeping the sharp cold at bay and her from freezing to death.

"I'll stay here forever," Snow announced with a sigh as the warmth seeped into her, chasing off the cold that had tortured her for so long.

Her head was resting on Red's chest and she felt her laugh as it reverberated through her chest. "At one point we'll have to get up, at least to get food or firewood."

"Not until this winter is over," Snow answered with as much authority as a princess on the run could muster and shuddered.

"Still cold?" Red asked, tightening her arms around the shorter girl.

Snow shook her head, suddenly too tired to form a coherent answer. Sleepily she snuggled closer. It wasn't just the bodily warmth that Red contributed, but the knowledge that she wasn't alone that helped her to relax enough to finally find sleep. Someone was with her, protecting her and maybe just maybe she had a slight chance to survive at last.

She hadn't remembered when she had felt so safe before.

It was her fault.

She hadn't been able to keep Red safe.

She swallowed, her throat suddenly too tight.

"You look tired," Snow stated, for the first time since she had entered the room making eye contact with Belle. "Go home, get some sleep." She grabbed Ruby's hand, her thumb brushing over her knuckles. "I'll stay with her."

It was meant as a nice gesture, but still Belle couldn't shake the feeling of being dismissed.

"I'm sorry," Ruby said as she lowered her cell-phone, the regret visibly in her expression.

Belle didn't need to ask who had interrupted their girls' night. It wasn't the first time this had happened and sometimes Belle wondered if Snow did it on purpose. Once she had called just because she had had a flat tire and didn't find her movable car lifter.

Ruby never questioned Snow, but did as asked and Belle never voiced her suspicions.

"I have to go. She needs me." Ruby's brows were furrowed slightly, like she was still processing whatever Snow had told her.

Belle sat up on the couch, where they had lounged while watching a romantic comedy from the eighties. "What happened?" Something was different this time. Ruby seemed tense, her eyes still directed at her cell-phone.

Belle placed her hand on Ruby's knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Ruby looked up at her, her eyes dark and full of worry. "King George escaped."

Belle gasped. "How? I thought he was under arrest." Memories of a mob rummaging through the town in search of Ruby flooded her mind and involuntarily her grip on Ruby's knee tightened.

"He obviously had help. They knocked out cold Sleepy on his watch at the sheriff's office."

"Is he hurt?" Belle asked concerned.

Ruby shook her head as she grabbed her boots and started to put them on. "The dwarfs are hard headed. I think the only thing hurt is his pride." She tried to joke to lighten up the situation, her grin more like a grimace than a real smile.

"What happens now?" Belle was afraid that she already knew what Ruby was about to do.

Ruby patted the hand on her knee, before she stood up and put her jacket on. "I'll track him down."

"But that's dangerous." Belle stood up as well, stepping close to Ruby. "What if it's a trap?"

Ruby's features of her face softened and her eyes swirled with emotions Belle couldn't decipher. "Don't worry. I'm the best. I'll find him and then I call the others. No danger in that, I've done it thousands of times before," Ruby tried to reassure her, but nothing could calm down the panic that threatened to take her breath away.

"I know you're the best, but that won't stop me from worrying." A knot was forming in the pit of her stomach.

Once before she had been close to losing Ruby and the fear that the same man who had tried to kill her was now on the loose and that Ruby would go after him overruled any rational thought. When awake at night she had formed many arguments on why, what she would be doing next was wrong, but right now she couldn't remember a single one of them.

Right now she wanted to give Ruby a reason to be careful and to come back to her.

She grabbed the lapel of Ruby's jacket and pulled her closer. Even in her high heels she was shorter than her, but barefoot she had to stand on her toes and still there was the difference in height she conquered by pulling Ruby down to her.

Surprise was in Ruby's eyes when their lips met and Belle's hands clawed into the fabric of the faux fur Ruby liked so much to wear.

Afraid that Ruby might push her back it took her a moment to realize that Ruby's arms were around her waist, pulling her against the taller woman's body and then she was lost in the sensation of Ruby's lips moving against hers.

When they seperated the grin on Ruby's lips was matching her own.

"Are you sure?" Ruby's voice was filled with insecurity and Belle cursed herself, because she had put it there.

"Yes."

"What about…"

Belle interrupted her with a second kiss, this time it was slow and steady. "I'm exactly where I want to be. Okay?"

Ruby nodded. "I wish I didn't have to go."

"Me too." Belle wanted to stay in her arms forever.

"I give you a call as soon as I'm back and everything is over."

"No," Belle shook her head. A call wasn't good enough. "Come back here, to me. I don't care how late or early it'll be. I'll wait for you."

A part of her was still waiting in her small apartment over the library, waiting for Ruby to come over, because the awful call made by Leroy from Ruby's phone, telling her that Ruby was severely injured and in the hospital, wasn't enough.

It was one more thing she hated Snow for.

The woman knew that Ruby and her were friends and still she didn't find it important enough to call her herself.

"Why didn't you call?" she asked, the accusing tone in her voice obvious.

"I'm sorry?" Snow seemed confused.

"Why didn't you call me instead of Leroy?"

Snow starred at her like she had lost her mind. "Because there were more pressing matters, like saving Ruby's life."

Ruby was staring at her, her dark eyes wide and filled with fear and confusion and pain. Sown held her gaze, trying to give her something to hold onto, to anchor her. Her free hand brushed over Red's forehead, feeling the cold sweat.

Under her touch Red closed her eyes, her features relaxing slightly. It was the longest second of her life, her heart stopping to beat till Red opened her eyes again.

This time they didn't focus on her anymore but at a point at the roof of the car, the normally clear eyes missing their spark as they gazed at something only she could see.

Snow looked up in front of her. "Drive faster," she ordered Charming from the backseat, where she was sitting with Red's head in her lap.

"I'm driving as fast as I can." Their eyes met in the rearview mirror, his sympathy too much for her.

Red's breathing had changed too. Every intake of breath now sounded shallow and painful. It was a scary sound and for the first time in her life Snow feared that Red could die, really die, without a possibility to bring her back.

Technically she knew that no one was immortal, not even a werewolf and still not once, not even on the battlefield, while fighting the armies of the Evil Queen or that of King George had she been worried for Red's safety.

Her hand pushed down harder on the wound at Red's shoulder, only a small gasp indicating Red's discomfort and hurt.

Granny was watching them from the passenger seat, in her eyes the same desperation Snow felt.

"She's going to be okay." There was a confidence in her voice that she didn't feel, but as a Queen she had learned to give others strength when needed, no matter how weak she felt herself.

Granny nodded, even though she didn't seem to be convinced. Charming took a sharp turn to the left and she had to turn back around for her own safety.

Snow leaned down, her mouth close to Red's ear. "Stay with me." She'd never been too proud to plead.

"She's my friend too," Belle hissed.

"She isn't just a friend, she's family."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

The waiting area was empty when she rushed in, still out of breath. She had run all the way from the library to the other end of the town where the hospital was located.

Confused Belle looked around. She had expected the waiting room to be filled with Ruby's friends, but instead she only found a single person hunched down in one of the chairs.

"Granny!"

The old woman looked up at her voice, something like relief crossing her features. Then she was engulfed in a hug, so tight, she couldn't breathe and it reminded her painfully that Ruby wasn't the only werewolf in this family.

"How is she?"

Granny shook her head. "I, I don't know." Her eyes went to the doors of the emergency room. "I haven't heard anything since we brought her in."

The handkerchief in her hand was crumbled and torn where nervous fingers had worked with it. But what held Belle's attention was the red spot on the arm of her cardigan.

A bright red spot against the beige fabric.

She couldn't tear her eyes from it, realizing for the first time that everything was real. That Leroy's call hadn't been a joke (an irrational thought she had held onto until now), but that Ruby really was hurt and that she hadn't been able to heal herself.

"How bad is it?"

The hand that had torn the handkerchief grabbed hers and it was tearing her apart.

"It's bad. He poisoned her with wolfsbane."

Belle knew from her books how deadly the plant was for human beings. That even a touch could poison you, condemn you to a painful death. She didn't want to think what it could do to a werewolf.

"I could ask Rumpel."

There was a brief moment where she thought that Granny would accept her offer, just a flicker in her eyes, but then it was gone and the older woman shook her head. "Nothing comes for free with him and the price is always too high."

Belle wanted to tell her, that no price was too high if it meant saving Ruby's life.

"She's strong, she will pull through," the old woman said and Belle wasn't sure which one of them she tried to convince.

Silently she vowed that if necessary she would go to Rumpel and offer him whatever he wanted to save Ruby.

"She gets that from her grandmother."

Granny snorted. "This one's really testing my strength." Their good-hearted quarrels were famous in town and it was like watching a tennis game. Still most of the times Granny won and even though Ruby pretended to let the older woman win, Belle knew the truth.

There was only one thing Granny was even better at than annoying the hell out of her granddaughter and that was loving and protecting her.

The smile vanished from Granny's face and was replaced by the desperation again. Her grip on Belle's hand was tight as if she was the only thing that kept her from drowning in sorrow and fear.

"Where are the others?"

"They went after King George."

"No one stayed with you?"

"You're here now."

Yes she was and she wouldn't leave any of the Lucas' family alone.

"You left Granny alone." Belle didn't even try to mask her accusation.

"There was nothing I could do here," Snow yelled before she realized where she was and lowered her voice. "There was nothing I could do here. I couldn't just sit around and wait for …" she stopped and took a deep breath, trying to calm her breathing down and keep the images at bay that threatened to overwhelm her.


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Thanks for all the feedback (reviews, followers and favorites). A few commented on the missing separation between hospital scene and flashbacks/memories. When I started the story I pondered how to do it and finally I decided to not distinguish between the different timelines. Even so it can be confusing and difficult to read; I chose this way to show how memories invade our daily life and how the flashbacks and the dialog complement each other. Hope you enjoy the story anyway. By the way, the memories aren't in chronological order.

Konako: Can you guess which drawing I used as inspiration for a flashback? Hope you like it

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"Where is she?" They had followed Granny for hours through the forest and with every passing minute Snow grew more anxious. She had seen the little traces Red had left for her, making sure that even without Granny's help Snow would have been able to follow her.

"We'll find her." Charming tried to reassure her and it had worked the first time he had said the words with hope and a smile on his face that was meant to encourage her. But now, after the third time it was nothing but an empty phrase and it only helped to aggravate her even more.

"The question is, if she's still alive when we find her," Leroy muttered loud enough for the others to hear.

Her fist clenched, Snow stepped closer to Leroy. "Don't say that," she hissed, glaring at him. She was scared and angry and her body trembled with the emotions she could barely contain.

Before she could reach him, Charming stepped between them, his arms outstretched to keep them at bay. "I'm sure he didn't mean it like that."

"I'm just saying we have to be realistic."

She lunged for him, tried to reach him, but Charming was in front of her, blocking the dwarf with his body. "Charming, step aside," she said slowly through clenched teeth. He was her husband, but if necessary she wouldn't spare him.

"Shut up." Granny suddenly ordered, silencing everyone immediately. She tilted her head slightly to the side, a movement that reminded Snow painfully of her missing friend.

"I hear her breathing."

Granny was old, but her body was still remembering the wolf and it was difficult for Snow to keep up with the old woman as she ran through the wood.

She panted and she could hear Leroy breathing heavily behind her when Granny finally stopped.

A few feet in front of them lay Red on her side, her back turned to them. The scene seemed eerily peaceful and for a second she thought that maybe Red was just sleeping deeply, just like she did after a night of running on a full moon. But the night before had been a new moon, the time of the month when Red's abilities were the weakest.

And she had sent her into a trap.

"Red." She fell down on her knees next to her, ignoring the pain that shot from her knees into her upper body.

Gently Snow grabbed her shoulder to turn her over and onto her back.

Her eyes were shut tightly and her face was contorted in pain. "Red?" Gently she placed her hands on either side of Red's face, brushing her thumbs over her cheeks. Her skin felt waxen under her fingers. "Please, open your eyes."

"She's bleeding." Granny, who had knelt down on her granddaughter's other side, lifted Red's shirt, revealing her stomach. There was a lot of blood, the angry looking bullet wound still oozed blood. "I need your shirt." Granny commanded and without hesitation Charming took off his shirt and handed it to her.

She pressed it against the wound and Red twitched under her touch, groaning.

"Red, can you hear me?" Snow patted her face slightly and finally Red opened her eyes.

There was so much pain in them, their darkness pulling Snow in, but there was although recognition and it made Snow smile with relief.

Red's mouth was moving and Snow lowered her head till her ear was close to her friend's mouth.

"Sssnow." The plea was more a breath than a word.

Snow nodded her head vigorously. "I'm here." She felt a feeble scratching on her knee and looked down to find Red's fingers twitching. She was too weak to raise her hand and Snow grabbed it and squeezed it.

"Why is she so weak? She's never been this weak before when she was hit with silver." She looked at Granny in search for an answer.

"I found something." Grumpy yelled and ran over, in his hand a silver dart. It was one of the darts veterinarians used and it was smeared with blood.

Snow reached out to take it, but Granny's hand on her wrist stopped her. "Be careful, it's Wolfsbane."

The two women looked at each other. They didn't need words to communicate how severe the situation was. Snow's grip on Red's hand tightened and she held onto her, afraid of letting go.

"I'm going to kill him for this." She promised.

"There won't be a next time. He will never hurt her again." The harshness in Snow's voice made Belle shiver.

Belle shook her head with a sigh and she rubbed her forehead. Her headache from earlier was returning again full force. "There will be a next time. Maybe it won't be King George, but there will always be someone else, a new danger, a new threat and one day it will get one of you killed."

"You went out there to get yourself killed." The statement was made calmly and it weighed heavily in the silence that followed.

Her arms crossed over her chest Belle stared at Ruby, waiting for a reaction from the other woman. Ruby had come to the library to apologize for chaining her up the night before and even though Belle was still mad about that, the reason why Ruby had done it was weighing so much more on her mind.

Ruby couldn't look her in the eye, shifting from one foot to the other. When she finally met her eyes there was a smile plastered on her face that Belle knew well. It was the same she used as a waitress when dealing with annoying customers.

"That's over. I didn't kill Billy and that's all that counts." Ruby said, her eyes pleading with Belle to drop the topic.

She could do that and they would go back to the easy friendship they had developed, meeting over food and films and enjoying their time together, never digging too deep, afraid of what they would find. But the pain and despair in Ruby's eyes made it impossible for Belle to go back to that.

"This isn't about Billy, is it?" Belle hadn't been able to find sleep over this question. Ghosts of her own past and the nagging question why a person like Ruby, so ostensible in love with life, had been so determined to get herself killed, had haunted her.

"You didn't even care if you really killed him."

The fake smile vanished from Ruby's features. "We all have to pay for our sins." The conviction from the night before was back in her voice and the lack of emotion caused a shudder to run up and down Belle's spine.

"No one deserves death."

"Even if they killed countless men?" The words rolled like thunder through the room and Ruby watched her closely for a reaction.

Ruby probably expected shock, disgust and maybe fear, but Belle didn't feel any of them. She only felt compassion for her friend.

"I'm sure you didn't kill them in cold blood."

The calmness and acceptance confused Ruby and she blinked as if awakening from a dream. But the confusion was short lived when Rub shook her head. "That doesn't matter. They're dead and nothing can bring them back." Her voice quivered, her walls finally crumbling.

Careful as if she was approaching a frightened animal Belle stepped closer. "It won't bring them back if you get yourself killed," she said softly.

Ruby took a step back, her back hitting the counter and her fingers dug into the wood. "But it will stop the pain. For 28 years I didn't feel this pain. I was free of this guilt and now it is back, stronger than ever. It's overwhelming and I don't know how to cope with it." A sob escaped her throat and Ruby covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes, big and pleading, asked Belle for help and with a few steps she was next to her.

She took the weeping woman in her arms, rocking them both back and forth. Even though she knew words form hundreds of books, there wasn't a single one that would take the pain away and so she did the only thing possible.

She held onto her.

"What do you expect me to do? Let the bad win? Because that would be so much better." Snow asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's not what I meant." Belle's patience was waning. Snow misunderstanding her on purpose infuriated her. "But just because you're the good guys doesn't mean you will always win, especially if you run into every fight without thinking first." Belle raised her voice as well as she stood up to be on eyelevel with Snow. "I expect you to think before you or anyone else goes into a dangerous situation. Use your fucking brain," she yelled.

Snow stared at her, her mouth slightly open. Suddenly she started to laugh, breaking the tension that had filled the room for so long. It took her a moment before she could inhale deep enough, without starting to laugh again. "I never heard you curse before. I didn't know you even knew curses."

Belle blushed and bit her lower lip, her anger disappearing as well. "That's all her doing." She tiled her head, pointing at Ruby. "That's her bad influence," she said tenderly.

Snow nodded. "She can curse like a sailor." Her smile vanished and her dark eyes glistered with tears. "Red never cursed. That's all Ruby." She took a deep breath, like the next sentence was hard to voice. "I'm the only one who still calls her Red. Even her grandmother calls her Ruby." Her eyes went to the book in Belle's arm.

"What are you reading?" Snow asked.

Ruby looked up from her book, blinking against the sun before she realized that it had been Snow who had interrupted her.

A smile spread over her face as she recognized her friend and Red jumped up, the book forgotten to hug her.

Snow closed her eyes, relishing the embrace.

It felt like coming home. It always did, and a small part of her felt regret when Red let go of her.

They sat down on the small coffee table that was placed in front of the diner and Snow pulled her coat closer around herself. "It's cold." She complained. Winter was over, but even though the first sunrays burst through the cloudy sky it was still chilly. The sun and the fresh air were probably the reasons why Ruby had chosen a coffee table outside the diner to read.

Ruby smiled. "You've always been too sensitive to cold." She teased her goodheartedly.

"And you always kept me warm." Snow replied softly and eyed the coffee in front of Red. With a roll of her eyes her friend pushed it into her reach.

"Thanks." Snow took the styrofoam cup with both hands. The coffee was still hot and it warmed her as she took a sip. Content she leaned back in her chair, watching her friend. "I didn't know you like to read."

Red shrugged and lowered her head as if she was ashamed. "I've only started recently," she mumbled.

Snow tilted her head to read the cover of the book. "Mysterious Island?" She knew that book, but the choice surprised her.

"Belle thought I might like Jules Verne."

Of course Belle, she seemed to be the source of a lot of changes in Red recently. "If you're interested, I could point you in the direction of a few interesting books," Snow offered.

"That won't be necessary; Belle already gave me a list that will take me years to handle." Snow tried to hide her disappointment when Red declined her offer.

Snow watched her friend closely while Red played with the cover of her book. She wondered when everything had changed, when Red and her had drifted apart. Had it been when Belle came to Storybrooke whilst she and Emma had been stuck in the Enchanted Forrest, or had it all started earlier. Ruby and Mary Margaret hadn't been real friends, their personalities and interests too different, but the same could be said about Red and Snow and still she considered her her sister.

They weren't bounded by blood, but by something much stronger.

She yearned to have it back.

"It's been too long," Snow said and at Red's confused and questioning gaze she added, "Just the two of us."

She found the same regret and sorrow, she felt, reflected in Red's eyes. "A lot has changed. There's always been a new threat and I know you needed time with your family."

"Hey." Snow leaned forward and grasped Red's hand. "You're my family too, don't you ever forget that."

She waited till Red nodded hesitantly. "You know what? As soon as it gets warmer we should go camping, just the two of us." Snow added and was rewarded with one of Red's bright smiles.

"Everything is so different now and sometimes I'm not sure if my life in Storybrooke was the illusion, or if the Enchanted Forrest was just a dream," Snow confessed to Belle. "She always anchored me." Once again her hand reached out to grasp Ruby's hand.

"It's difficult. The curse and Storybrooke have changed all of us." Belle sat down again. "From some it took more than from others and still as wrong as the curse was, I'm thankful for the opportunities it gave me. Opportunities I never even dreamed of and I can't regret that."

"Hey"

Belle looked up to find Ruby smiling at her. She hadn't heard the door to the library opening; she had been too absorbed in the book she was reading.

"Oh hey, I didn't hear you." She said, her eyes already lowered to her book again.

Ruby stepped into the room. "You didn't come to the diner for lunch and Leroy said that the library was closed today. I was worried and I brought you something to eat." She held up the small basket, she had brought with her, for Belle to see.

"I'm fine. I just needed to do some research," Belle answered.

"I can see that." The table, Belle was sitting at, was overcrowded with books, most of them arranged in piles, a few of them opened and arranged around Belle who had a notebook in front of her. The pages of the notebook were filled with her neat handwriting, some sentences high-lightened with one of the colorful highlighters Ruby had given her.

"What's your research about?" Ruby sat down on the only free edge of the table and opened the book next to her. Most of them were about fairytales, but there were others about biology, psychology, physiology and even philosophy as well.

"Love," Belle mumbled and without Ruby's enhanced hearing she wouldn't have been able to decipher it.

"That's a complicated subject."

"Very." Belle sighed and rubbed her right temple. After all those hours of research it became more and more difficult to make any sense of her writings. Instead of clearer, everything became more and more confusing.

Without thinking Ruby placed the book back onto some random pile.

"Stop, that's the wrong pile." Belle stopped her and Ruby pulled the book back and against her chest as if her hand had been burned. "On that pile belong the books I've read. Over there!" She motioned to another pile on which Ruby was supposed to place the book. Ruby followed her order dutifully.

"You've read all that books already? When did you start your research?"

"Yesterday, after my date with Rumpel."

Ruby's eyes widened. "That's been 24 hours ago. Did you even sleep or eat?"

Belle shook her head and bit her lower lip in concentration. "I didn't have time for that. This," she pointed at her notebook, "is way more important." With her pen she pointed at one of the high-lightened sentences. "Love can change, or die, I get that, but True Love is different, isn't it?" For the first time since she had entered the library Belle looked at Ruby for longer than a second.

Ruby shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. "I'm not sure I'm the right one to ask, my story is one of the few without true love. You're the expert here."

"True love is supposed to be for eternity; if it isn't, it can't be true love." Her hands combed through her tresses, disheveling her hair even more. "But it has to be true love." She sounded more and more desperate with every second. Suddenly her face lightened up and she sat up straight. "Maybe it was a spell that would explain it."

"Explain what?" Before Belle could rush into the back of the library to retrieve more books, Ruby grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Belle you're scaring me." She guided Belle back to her seat and sat her down on it before she crouched down in front of her. "Did something happen on your date? Did Gold do something?" There was a light growl in Ruby's voice that caused Belle to meet her concerned eyes. She placed a hand on top of Ruby's that was resting on her knee.

"No," she shook her head. "It was lovely and he was a real gentleman as always." Her voice sounded sad, like she had lost something dear. Ruby's hand under hers stiffened, but she was way too confused to think about it. "Everything should have been as always, but it wasn't," she continued, talking more to herself than to Ruby. "I didn't enjoy it, instead I kept looking at the clock. He kept asking me about books and that has always been nice, but yesterday I kept wondering when I could go back to the library to continue the book I'm reading or why you weren't there. Why weren't you there?"

Ruby smiled and titled her head. "You know that Granny insists that I do the bookkeeping for the Inn every Wednesday."

Belle nodded, her mind already again occupied. Suddenly she looked up, her eyes brimming with tears as she grabbed Ruby's arm with all her strength. "What if everything was an illusion, if it was never real?" She was scared of the truth she would have to face. Her head was swimming and she felt lightheaded. "If it wasn't real, if it wasn't True Love, then everything was useless. I've been locked up for years for nothing." She felt Ruby's hand against her forehead, a cooling touch to her burning thought and she leaned into it. "I'm scared." She confessed.

She didn't resist when Ruby pulled her closer and her head rested against her friend's stomach. Her steady breathing and the hand that combed through her hair were soothing and Belle closed her eyes.

"Everything that happened brought you here and I can't be sorry about that." Ruby whispered and in her sleep deprived mind Belle thought that Ruby was right.

Being right here wasn't so bad at all.

"You won't find an answer tonight. Tonight you need food and sleep."

"That sounds nice." Sleep sounded alluring, but her mind was still spinning with the most confusing thoughts. "But I can't, not until I found an answer. I need an answer."

"And you will find your answer, but not tonight," Ruby said determinatively. Her voice grew softer when she continued, "When I was a little girl and Granny tucked me in, she always said a phrase she had learned from her grandmother. 'Und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute."

„What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that tomorrow is a new day."

"Tomorrow is a new day." Belle repeated the words. After two days like the last ones the sentence seemed foreign on her tongue.

Snow nodded with a sigh. She too felt the toll of the last few days. "Hopefully it will be better than the last two."

"It will be." Belle smiled. "She should wake up anytime now. Whale said everything looks fine even so he isn't sure what a normal blood pressure or heart rate is for a werewolf."

"That's great." Snow's eyes lit up. "I've never been so scared before to lose her." Her eyes darkened again. "Only once…"

The crying had stopped a day ago and first Snow had been relieved and had hoped that everything would get better now. But now she was worried even more and almost whished that Red would cry again.

Everything was better than this lifeless version of Red.

Crying she could handle, she could be there for her and try to comfort her.

Right now she felt useless.

She had tried to get her to talk or even eat and drink, but nothing had helped. Red just lay on their makeshift bed, staring straight ahead without seeing anything at all, lost in her own world of pain and death.

She had waited till they had found a cabin and weren't in direct danger anymore before she broke down, the death of Peter and her mother finally catching up with her.

Snow had sat down in the corner opposite to the cot, observing her friend closely and with every passing hour her fear grew.

She had heard of people dying out of despair and she was afraid that Red might die too, that she might never get up from that cot again.

She was afraid of losing her.

She got up from the floor, her muscles protesting after hours spent in the same position and walked over to the bed. Carefully she lay down next to her friend, facing her.

Red was looking straight through her, never acknowledging her.

She laid her arm over Red's waist and pulled her closer, her friend's body unresponsive to the touch. "I know you are hurting," she whispered, her own voice trembling with tears. "And I wish there was something I could do to take your pain away, I really do."

She waited for a sign, anything that showed her that Red was still with her, but nothing changed.

"I need you. I won't survive without you. Please come back to me."

And suddenly Red blinked.

Then she blinked again and for the first time in days she looked at Snow, really looked at her.

"Snow?" her voice sounded hoarse and fragile, but it was the most beautiful sound to Snow's ears.

"But she pulled through for me," Snow continued her voice filled with pride. "That's how she is. She always puts others before herself."

"I'm afraid that one day it will cost her her life," Belle interjected.

Snow opened her mouth, probably to tell her that this wouldn't happen, but something stopped her.

The blood was rushing through her ears and her heart was pounding painfully against her chest, the sound of the battlefield faint in the distance as she looked up at the knight standing above her, while she was sitting on the cold wet ground.

His sword, that had killed countless of her men, was glistening in the sun.

She looked over to the battlefield, where her friends and Charming were still fighting and realized that no one would come to help her. The knight had separated her from them on purpose and when she had realized her mistake it had been too late.

Even though she couldn't see his face behind his helmet, she knew he was smiling. Like a panther with its prey, he had played with her, letting her believe that she had the upper hand. She had been arrogant, thinking she could take the Evil Queen's first knight. The same knight whose name and that of his magic sword were whispered in fear.

And now she would pay for her stupidity with her life.

Her eyes went to Charming who fought against two soldiers in the distance and the knight followed her gaze. "He won't save you."

No, he wouldn't.

He hadn't even noticed that she was missing.

The knight raised his sword and Snow took a deep breath, her chest too tight for all the emotions that whirled through her.

She knew it would be her last breath.

There was a flash of red and then the knight was gone.

Above her was only the clear blue sky.

She blinked.

And then she blinked again.

She heard muffled sounds, grunts and hisses and then the breaking of bones. It caused her to look to her right and that was when she saw her.

Red.

She was standing up, favoring her left side, her arm holding her right side. To her feet lay the knight, dead, his head turned an unnatural angle.

Red was smiling when their eyes met, but it turned in a wince when she took a step. Snow rushed forward and wrapped her arm around Red's waist.

"You're hurt." Blood was oozing through Red's fingers.

"It's nothing." Red waved her free hand, regretting it instantly when she nearly lost her footing and only Snow's grip kept her from tumbling.

"You've never been bleeding this much before." She led Red to a trunk nearby and sat her down before she knelt in front of her. "Let me see." She ordered as she took Red's hand from the wound and pulled the fabric of her shirt apart to get a better look.

She hissed. It didn't look like a normal cut, the area around it already burning red with infection. There had been whispers about the magic of the sword and how even a scratch from it could kill the strongest man. Her eyes searched Red's face and even though her friend smiled at her, she could see the normally sparkling eyes clouded with pain. "We have to get you back to the camp as fast as possible."

Snow tore off a strip of her own shirt and pressed it against the wound. The fabric was turning red way too fast for her liking. She concentrated on tearing more of her shirt into strips to dress the wound. Her fingers were trembling and her eyes were burning with unshed tears.

Red's hand covered hers and she looked up. "Why did you do that? I would have found a way to defeat him," snow wanted to know.

They both knew she was lying, that she would be dead without Red.

"You're alive and that's what counting," Red answered calmly.

Snow's eyes traveled to Ruby's chest. Under the blanket, covered by the hospital gown was a scar that would forever remind her of her guilt and she was afraid that a new scar would add to the weight that was already resting on her shoulders.

"You're right," Snow finally answered as she sat down on the edge of Ruby's bed. She never let go of Ruby's hand. "If we don't look after her, one day she will get herself killed." She looked from Ruby to Belle.

Belle's eyes widened in surprise that Snow involved her. "We?"

Snow nodded and Belle could tell it was hard for the other woman to accept the fact that she alone wasn't able to protect Ruby.

"I never wanted to hurt her." Snow whispered, her eyes glistening with tears.

Belle leaned forward in her seat till she was able to cover Snow's hand with her own. "I know and so does she, but sometimes she tends to forget how important she is to the people who love her."

"Yes, she can be really stupid."

They both laughed about the little joke, happy to be able to release some of the tension.

"I think it's the first time we both have something like a real conversation." Snow noticed. "She kept us apart." Ruby had always managed to keep the two women apart. She never had invited Snow to one of their girls' nights and Belle had never been asked to join one of their meetings.

Belle nodded. Ruby tended to hide parts of herself.

Belle watched Ruby's wolf-pendant, dangling from the rearview mirror, as it moved with the motion of the car. It was soothing and helped her to forget the queasy feeling in her stomach. She leaned her head against the window enjoying the cool.

"We're there."

Belle opened her eyes, only realizing then that she had closed them in the first place and found Ruby's Camaro parked on front of the library.

Ruby turned off the lights and turned in her seat to look at Belle. "I should have never taken you to the Rabbit Hole." It was dark and Belle wasn't sure if Ruby looked amused or worried.

"I had very conclusive arguments for taking me." Belle grinned, proud with herself. It hadn't been easy to convince Ruby to take her to the bar.

"You begged." Ruby reminded her.

"I have my charms." Belle clarified with a wink and flipped her hair over her shoulder in a flirting manner.

"Yes you do." Ruby's voice was thick with emotion. Her head was lowered and in the darkness, only broken by the light of a lantern nearby, Belle wasn't able to read her features.

She waited a moment for Ruby to continue, but when she didn't, Belle spoke, "Well, I'm thankful you took me with you. I had a splendid night."

"I'm not sure if you still will thank me in the morning."

Belle waved her hand and huffed. She had had a few shots, but she could handle the light buzz she felt. Seeing this different side of Ruby was worth a little headache in the morning. It was nothing a few glasses of water and a painkiller couldn't cure.

She had seen a different side of her friend and it left her wondering why Ruby had hidden it from her till now. "It was nice to see this other side of you."

Ruby stiffened and leaned away from her as much as possible. "That's exactly why I didn't want to take you," she confessed.

There was a sadness in her voice and Belle wanted to reach out, but the defensiveness in Ruby's words kept her from doing so.

"Why? Because of the guys?" Over the course of the night, a few guys had approached them, offering to buy them drinks or asking for a dance. The intimacy with which they had talked to Ruby, how they had raved about a night of wild partying or an unforgettable night, made it obvious that Ruby had spent many nights at the Rabbit Hole and that she had enjoyed herself.

A feeling close to jealousy had coursed through Belle with every man that talked to Ruby, but her friend's reaction, how she tried to get rid of them as fast as possible had numbed that feeling and had replaced it with joy.

Joy, because Ruby preferred spending time with her.

"I don't go there anymore." Ruby broke the silence. "Red is the beast, but Ruby, she's been a different kind of predator."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Ruby didn't react to her interjection and it seemed as if she was afraid she wouldn't be able to confess again if she stopped now. "I didn't have any real friends in Storybrooke before the curse broke. I know they talked about me behind my back, made fun about the waitress in her slutty clothes, the one who wasn't smart enough to be anything more than a waitress. But there was one thing I didn't feel insecure about and that was my body. At night, at the Rabbit Hole I could forget about everything. There I felt alive and powerful and free and I took what I wanted."

"Do you regret it?" Belle asked softly.

She heard Ruby inhaling deeply as she was staring straight ahead. Finally after a short eternity she turned her head to Belle. "No," she said quietly and then, louder this time, she repeated "No, I don't."

"That's good."

Ruby looked at her surprised and it caused Belle to smile. She leaned forward, watching Ruby as she closed the distance between them. Even in the dim light she could see her sparkling eyes, the red lips and her tongue brushed over her lips in anticipation.

Their lips almost touched and she could feel Ruby's breath tickling her lips. But in the last moment she chickened out, afraid that Ruby might think she'd do it for all the wrong reasons. Instead she titled her head, so her mouth was close to Ruby's ear. She felt the slight tremble from Ruby's body, wondering if Ruby wanted it as much as her.

"I'm not afraid or disgusted by any of your sides, Ruby. I never could be. You don't have to hide from me. You can go wild with me too."

Before Ruby could say anything she pulled back, opened the door and stepped out of the car and into the cold night.

"She keeps her different lives separated. Maybe she thought we wouldn't get along." Belle suggested to Snow.

"I don't know where she got that impression from," Snow replied with a grin that Belle answered with one of their own. Maybe they would never become friends, but they had found a way to cooperate.

"She won't like the fact that we teamed up against her." They both looked at Ruby who was still sound asleep.

"I don't care. If necessary I will chain her to this bed to keep her safe."

"That won't work. We already tried that once and she chained me up instead." Belle tossed in, surprising herself that she was able to joke about the situation.

Snow didn't seem surprised. Obviously Ruby or Charming had told her what had happened. "We'll find another way to keep her safe then." She yawned and rubbed her eyes when her exhaustion finally caught up with her.

"Why don't you take a nap? I'll wake you up, if anything changes," Belle offered.

Snow considered the offer, and finally she nodded. "I just want to rest my eyes for a moment." She stood up from the bed to sit down in the free chair next to Ruby's bed.

She crossed her arms over her chest and slid into a semi-comfortable position before she closed her eyes. "What about you?" she asked sleepily.

Even though Snow couldn't see her, Belle shook her head. She grabbed her book and opened the page where she had stopped reading. "I'm not that tired. I can stay awake a little while longer. Besides I have a book to finish."

For a little while Snow listened to Belle's voice as she read Ruby's favorite book, but it didn't take long before she fell asleep.

It was with the knowledge that Ruby was safe.


End file.
